Shadow Work Guide: How to Get to Know Your Dark Side ⋆ lizinlotus.com

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WE ALL HAVE A PART OF OURSELVES THAT WE’D LIKE TO HIDE OR PRETEND DOESN’T EXIST.

Shadow work plays a huge part in the healing, accepting, and embracing of our shadow self so that it’s no longer lingering over us, weighing us down, and sabotaging us every step of the way.

And if you want to create more balance and peace in your life (or to manifest more happiness and abundance), shadow work is going to be a necessary part of the journey.

Do you have an ugly side? I sure as hell do. I swear like a sailor sometimes. And I have a huge temper that gets me in far more trouble than I’d like to admit. (I’m working on that! ‘Serenity Now’ has become my new best friend.)

As much as I’d like to be perfect, flawless, and always in control of my actions, I’m not. No one is.

The truth is I have parts of my personality that were formed when I was a child (and even some later on that I’ve gathered along the way) that create havoc in my life. These are the parts I desperately try to hide from the world.

We all have a ‘dark side’ that we keep hidden behind closed doors. The question is, ‘How do you learn to love those parts of yourself and turn them into strengths rather than weaknesses?’

In this post, I’ll explain what shadow work is and how to identify your shadow. Then I’ll show you how to heal and integrate your shadow self so you can stop fearing it (and stuffing it deep down inside).

Because when you hide it away in the darkness, just like a wild animal that’s never seen the light of day, it will rear its ugly head and knows only how to attack.

And nobody wants that. So, let’s free that shadow of yours!

This post may contain affiliate links and I may earn a small commission (at no additional cost to you) when you click on those links. For more information, you can read my disclosure policy.

What is Shadow Work?
Why It’s Important to Heal Your Shadow
4 Ways to Identify the Shadow
5 Ways to Heal the Shadow
Shadow Work Meditations

What is Shadow Work?

Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.
– Dr. Carl Jung

Although shadow work has been around for thousands of years, Dr. Carl Jung is famously credited with popularizing the term in Western culture. He describes the ‘shadow self’ as the unconscious or disowned part of your personality.

It’s the side of your personality that you refuse to admit to and try desperately to hide. Think Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

In other words, it’s a term in psychology that basically means you need to heal your inner self or inner child (a.k.a. all the baggage you’re not conscious of).

How We Created the Shadow

According to Jung, the shadow self is born in your childhood as a byproduct of your upbringing, events that occurred during your formative years, and the interactions with your family.

Your shadow is formed when your parents or other people during your childhood project their beliefs and understanding of the world onto you.

But the shadow can also develop later on in your life. Maybe you were bullied growing up, experienced a traumatic event, or suffered a devastating loss that created a deep wound within your psyche.

Other times, you may have inherited cultural wounds. These types of wounds are carried across generations and may develop from prevailing social beliefs, such as the way money is tied to self-worth.

We, unfortunately, accept these beliefs as truth. But they’re not. And these wounds only fester with time if we ignore them.

So, whether you want to progress and grow spiritually or just live a happier life, shadow work is going to be a crucial tool in your healing.

RELATED: How To Love Yourself: Self-Love Is Your Key To Happiness

How to do shadow work | Dr. Carl Jung Quote

Why It’s Important to Heal Your Shadow

Shadow Work Improves Your Self-Esteem

Nowadays we talk a lot about cultivating self-love. And in the spiritual community, we talk even more about ‘love and light.’

But in order to experience that love, you need to heal your demons. In other words, the deepest parts of yourself. Those parts that seem icky and unlovable.

It’s those parts of ourselves that make us feel deficient. So, we learn to repress or deny these ‘flawed’ aspects of our personality. And we grow up thinking that there is something wrong with us, causing us to shrink rather than expand.

But the shadow only grows as you get older. That’s why it’s so important to tackle your demons sooner rather than later.

Shadow Work Ends the Cycle of Abuse

Doing shadow work allows us to stop viewing our life from the lens of the wounded self. It allows us to stop being a victim and drop the painful stories we’ve been holding on to.

Then we can begin to see those past wounds that created our shadow were caused by people acting unconsciously from their own unhealed wounds.

Everyone has their own bag of hurt to deal with. And more times than not, our ‘pain body’ (as Eckhart Tolle likes to call it) unconsciously takes over when we’re triggered by old wounds.

This happens without us even being aware of it. The accumulation of painful life experiences that have not been fully dealt with or accepted at the moment it arose takes a toll on our lives and those we interact with.

It’s a domino effect. When I ignore the accumulation of painful life experience and refuse to deal with it, over time it feeds my shadow and leads to low self-esteem.

I may not even be aware of it or its effect on my actions. But when I get triggered by someone or something, I’ll lash out at another person. Then that person may be wounded by me, and the pain from that event adds to their shadow.

Then their shadow causes them to wound someone else. And so on and so on. The cycle just keeps repeating.

Shadow Work Unlocks the Positive Qualities of the Shadow

However, your shadow isn’t all bad. It has both negative and positive qualities. Your shadow may also contain gifts or talents that you’ve hidden away because of negative events that have happened in the past or due to fear.

So, by doing shadow work you will be bringing the more troublesome aspects of your personality to light in order to rewrite the ‘damage’ (so to speak) done during childhood.

But that’s not all folks! As an added bonus, you may also tap into some talents or positive aspects of yourself that you weren’t even aware of.

There are more spiritual facets to the shadow self as well. But for the purpose of this article, I’m only going to cover the psychological aspects.

And keep in mind, this is a beginner’s guide to shadow work. It is by no means an in-depth manual on how to heal yourself. There is no quick fix when it comes to healing your shadow.

In the future, I will tackle a more in-depth article on the subject of shadow work. But for now, hopefully, this article will serve to point you in the right direction and get you started on the process.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I highly encourage you to build a healthy foundation of Self-Love before delving into your shadow self. If you struggle with low self-esteem, bringing your so-called ‘demons’ to light or dredging up old traumas and deep-seated wounds may have an adverse effect. It could actually end up making you feel worse about yourself, not better. So, please, only proceed with these shadow work exercises if you have healthy and stable self-worth. For more guidance on how to love yourself, read How To Love Yourself: Self-Love Is Your Key To Happiness.

With that said, your shadow can profoundly affect your behaviors and life experiences. So, how do you know what to look for?

4 Ways to Identify the Shadow

1. Projections

How you see the world and others says more about you than anyone else. What is it that bothers you about others? Those aspects are actually alive within you and are part of your shadow.

It may be true that your spouse, kids, colleagues, or the guy down the road are self-centered, disrespectful, arrogant, or inconsiderate. But if you didn’t have those exact same qualities within you, you wouldn’t have such a strong reaction to their behavior.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
– Dr. Carl Jung

2. Emotional Triggers

What are your pet peeves? Pay attention to your emotional reactions because the things that trigger you reveal your wounds and your shadow self.

The moment you start to notice a trigger, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?”

In the heat of the moment, you may not have time to work with your triggered emotions right then and there. That’s why, at the end of the day, take five to ten minutes to reflect on the interactions you had with others that day and how you reacted.

Maybe even meditate on it at a later time and see what comes up.

3. Patterns

Look for repeating patterns in your life or in your experiences. Do you attract toxic people? Is there a pattern in your relationships, the people you’re attracting, in your career, or in any aspect of your life?

4. Introspection

Many of us think of ourselves as a ‘good’ person. We have a deeply rooted association with what we consider to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’. And then, we add other adjectives to that definition to describe our personality, which becomes our identity.

But all these labels we’ve given ourselves have only widened the gap between our conscious self and our shadow.

For example, when you refer to yourself as a polite, you’re repressing the aspect of your shadow that has something rude to say. Or when you define yourself as driven or goal-oriented, the part of you that’s lazy is getting shoved into the shadow.

But these are all just labels. And people love labels. In reality, though, we are all things. No one is all good or all bad. Just as no one is always polite and never lazy.

When we try to define ourselves as one thing (we ARE this and are NOT that), we’re denying an aspect of our whole. We’re telling ourselves that it’s not ok to be that other thing.

So, identify with your so-called ‘negative’ parts. Observe them. Accept them. And make friends with them. It’s okay to be lazy or tell it like is, too.

This is a journaling exercise. Ask yourself…
1. What about yourself do you dislike?
2. What parts of yourself do you judge?
3. What parts of yourself do you fear?

The answers to these questions will help reveal parts of your shadow self.

Now that you know what you’re dealing with, here are some powerful ways to integrate your shadow and heal it.

Extensive List of My Favorite Tools + Resources | Click Here

5 Ways To Heal Your Shadow

Your shadow is like an angry, hurt child that has been abused for years. You wouldn’t disown or throw away a child because it misbehaves. You nurture it. Accept it. Show it compassion. And love it. In order to heal your inner child, you’re going to have to do the same thing.

1. Practice Self-Acceptance

Don’t push it away or refuse to acknowledge it. Your shadow was created from nonacceptance. That’s why it exists. So, in order to heal it and minimize it, you need to embrace it with compassion and acceptance.

2. Observe Without Judging It

Once you notice an instance that has triggered your shadow, don’t criticize it or judge it. Don’t act on the negative emotion, but allow it to be. As mentioned above, catch it when it arises, calm down and allow it to pass. Then meditate on what came up later on.

3. Past Life Regression

Past life regression can be a powerful tool in healing the shadow. Basically, during a hypnosis session, you’re guided into your previous lifetimes to uncover any trauma or relevant events that may help in the healing process.

It’s worth investigating. You can learn a lot from past life regressions. When you’re ready to give it go and dive deep into your subconscious, there are tons of guided past life regression meditations online. Or you can book a session with a professional if you don’t have any luck with the self-guided videos.

4. Journaling

Journaling is such a powerful healing tool. If you’re not sure where to start, just start writing. Write whatever comes to mind. You can’t do it wrong. Just getting your thoughts down on paper can do wonders.

Use these questions to get you started. Review your childhood and ask yourself…
1. Were you completely accepted by those around you as a child?
2. What was expected of you?
3. What emotions and behaviors were judged by your parents?

5. Meditation

Once you become aware and conscious of aspects of your shadow, the hard part is done. You can set an intention and then meditate on the patterns, emotions, and childhood issues that you journaled about (or anything that comes up during this process of shadow work).

Or you can use visualization during your meditation to heal the shadow. Once you’re in a meditative state, imagine your shadow as a small child standing in front of you.

Visualize talking to the child, comforting, and taking the child in your arms. Be a source of love and compassion for this neglected child you’ve hidden in the dark and abandoned for so long.

You’d be amazed at how much healing takes place when you turn a light on your shadow and extend it some love.

BONUS TIP: Opening and healing the Heart Chakra can be an immensely powerful way to heal your shadow. Click here to learn more. Within that post, I’ve also included a free Heart Chakra Affirmations printable to help you let love into your life.

RELATED: How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind to Unlock Your Superpowers

Learn how to create the perfect meditation space that will inspire you to deepen your practice.
RELATED: Ultimate Meditation Space Guide: How to Create a Sanctuary

Shadow Work Meditations

Below are two guided meditations to get you started on your journey to healing your shadow.

The Mirror And The Window

Want More? For more resources on shadow work, click here. And be sure to follow me on Pinterest to get all the latest updates. I’m always adding new pins!👈📌💜

That’s It, Folks!

We’ve just begun to scratch the surface of shadow work. But this should get you started in the process of healing your shadow. In the future, I promise to dive deeper and write a more comprehensive guide for y’all.

But for now, that’s all there is to it. The work really isn’t difficult. You just have to be honest with yourself, be consistent with it, and give it time.

If you decide to take the leap and uncover your shadow, let me know how it goes. I would love to hear about it! Comment your results or anything that you experience down below. Let’s learn from each other!

And if you have a question for me or a topic you would like me to share, send me an email and let me know. Thanks, y’all!