How To Love Yourself: Self-Love Is Your Key To Happiness
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU ARE ENOUGH AND YOU DESERVE ALL THAT YOU DESIRE.
What’s love got to do with it? Everything. But I’m not talking about romantic love. I’m talking about self-love.
Self-love is a fundamental skill that most of us have never been taught. That’s the reason so many of us search endlessly for the love and approval of others. Because we don’t know how to find it within ourselves.
And if we don’t learn how to love ourselves, we will never truly be happy.
To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.
– Robert Morley
I’ve struggled most of my life to shake the feeling of ‘not being enough.’ The mind does a bang-up job of making us feel worthless.
Every time I used to hear the words, “I love you,” my first thought would be, ‘Why?’
I’d think, ‘What did I do to deserve their love?’ I was caught up in working so hard at convincing them to love me, it never occurred to me that I deserved it.
Deep down I didn’t believe that I was worthy of love. I didn’t love myself, so it was impossible for me to wrap my brain around why someone else would love me.
These are the thoughts that would run through my mind. And our minds are notorious little tricksters that wreak havoc on our lives. We cause ourselves so much suffering. So much that it hurts to watch.
But if we’re going to heal ourselves, we need to know where this belief of ‘not being enough’ stems from?
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Table of Contents
- Self-Love is Not Cultivated in Childhood
- Negative Self-Talk
- What is Self-Love Actually?
- Cultivate Self-Love Because You’re Worth It!
- 7 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love
- More Self-Love Resources
Self-Love Is Not Cultivated In Childhood
Right out of the womb the world unwittingly drills into us to compete with others. To compare ourselves to others, strive for perfection, and be the best. We’re taught that we’re a failure if we’re not impressing other people.
But we should be supporting each other, not competing with one another. And we should be learning how to accept and embrace our flaws, not how to hide them in order to be some arbitrarily agreed upon idea of ‘perfection’.
We’re also taught to respect others, be nice, be polite and to put others first. Which are perfectly fine qualities, but what about ourselves?
Why aren’t we educated on how to set boundaries, how to care for ourselves, how to love, and accept ourselves?
The message being stamped into us is that WE don’t matter. What WE want doesn’t matter. We’re being taught that we’re not enough.
That happiness is found in the love and approval of others. It’s found outside of ourselves, out in the world. That there’s a hole inside of us that we must fill with ‘stuff’ in order to feel complete. That there is a lack of something, and so we must compete for it.
When we don’t learn how to properly love ourselves, we give into self-criticism and self-doubt which lead too many of us down a path of low self-esteem, bitterness, resentment, depression, anxiety, and great unhappiness.
Check out the eye-opening video below of Marisa Peer, a well-known hypnotherapist, and Lewis Howes discussing where our feelings of low self-worth arise from and how our negative mental programming is affecting our lives and our body.
In this interview, she also explains how to heal yourself and start living a better life.
Negative Self-Talk
We’ve become experts at tearing ourselves down. The voice in our head tells us, “I am not enough.” I’m not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, or successful enough. Whatever it is, I’m not enough of it.
You bully yourself with all kinds of disapproving, self-criticizing thoughts on a daily basis. Until you begin to feel that you’re not worthy of love.
Not the world’s. And not even your own.
But it’s not true. Because you are worthy. You are enough. And you’re freaking AMAZING! You are a gift to this world and deserve all the happiness and treasures it has to offer.
Once you can see that and believe it with all of your heart, the light inside you will flip on and miraculous things will start happening for you.
It’s time to empower yourself with how to lift yourself up, nurture, and truly love yourself. Let the lovefest begin!
Need more tips on how to stop the negative self-talk? Time to spread the love and give a shout out to fellow blogger, Sedija Lejiete. Check out her amazing blog post, #Let’s talk: Self-Love & Positive Tips How To Maintain it, for more self-love tips.
Sedija’s blog is truly inspiring! It’s all about self-empowerment, positive body image, and seeing the beauty in yourself. Be sure to check it out at sedijalejietebrand.com.
There is no one with the same features, birthmarks, and body image as you. That’s what makes you unique. That’s what makes you — You.
– Sedija Lejiete
What is Self-Love Actually?
Unfortunately, people mistakenly think self-love is selfish or narcissistic. They think it’s synonymous with having a big ego. But it’s not.
Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means nurturing your own needs (physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually).
It means not sacrificing yourself to please others or settling for less than you deserve.
Loving yourself means accepting yourself completely and loving yourself unconditionally (flaws and all). You don’t need to strive to be someone else. The goal is not to change who you are, it’s about loving who you are right now.
And self-love is appreciating the things that make you unique, and having compassion for yourself when you make a mistake.
So, how do we begin to love ourselves?
Cultivate Self-Love Because You’re Worth It!
If you want to unleash the boundless love that’s already inside you, the first thing you need to do is replace all the negative self-talk with a more loving, empowering voice. Because every time you criticize or compare yourself to others, you’re sending the message to yourself that you simply are not enough.
If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.
– Dr. Wayne Dyer
You are what you believe. That’s how powerful your beliefs are! So, repeat after me:
- I am enough!
- I matter!
- I am significant!
- I am beautiful and perfect just the way I am!
- I am strong and brave!
- I am loved!
- I am whole and complete!
- I am worthy of everything I desire in life!
- I am here for a reason!
- And I have something extraordinary to offer the world!
Don’t stop there. Don’t say these affirmations just once. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat them every day until you begin to believe that you are the undeniably, gorgeous, unstoppable, unreplaceable being that you are!
There is NO ONE in this world like you. There never has been and there never will be. You are the only YOU this world will ever have the pleasure of knowing.
Don’t deny this world, or those that love you dearly, of the unique gift that you are. No more hiding. Let the world know the real, radiant YOU!
RELATED: 100 Amazingly Powerful Affirmations to Change Your Life
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7 Powerful Ways To Practice Self-Love
1. Speak Kind Words To Yourself
Affirmations are an amazing way to improve your mental diet and reprogram negative, self-sabotaging beliefs with empowering ones. What you think, you become. So, choose your words and your thoughts wisely.
Check out my article 100 Amazingly Powerful Affirmations to Change Your Life to learn more about affirmations and how to use them effectively.
2. Be Grateful
Having an attitude of gratitude is another fabulous way to practice self-love! Say thanks for all the wonderful things in your life with a gratitude journal. Physically writing it down helps cement the positive sentiment of gratitude into your subconscious.
If you need help setting up a gratitude journal or would like a printout of journal prompts to get you started, click here.
3. Nurture Your Body
Nurture your beautiful body. Strengthen it with exercise and a healthy diet. Swap processed foods that are high in fat, sugar, and additives with more nutritious options. Research has shown a link between the food we put in our bodies and our mental health.
And be sure to get plenty of rest. Just listen to your body. It’ll let you know how much it needs.
Need help getting started? Check out the links below:
Healthy Recipes
Superfoods
Workouts for Women
4. Meditation
Meditation is one of the best ways to take care of yourself mentally and show yourself some love! It has so many amazing health benefits and allows you to spend time on YOU — calming your mind and deepening the connection with yourself.
Yoga and Breathwork are also great ways to find a deeper sense of self.
If you’re new to meditation, I’ve got a great beginner’s guide to mediation here. There are also some guided meditations down below, at the end of this article.
And if you want to create the perfect meditation or yoga space in your home, be sure to click here for a step-by-step guide and tons of inspiration.
Want More? For more articles, tips, tricks, and guided meditations, be sure to follow me on Pinterest. I’m always adding new amazing content!👈📌💜
RELATED: Meditation Basics For Beginners: Benefits And Ultimate How-To Guide
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5. It’s OK to Say ‘No’
When we start to feel overwhelmed with so many things grasping for our attention and time, it’s OK to say ‘no.’ Setting boundaries is healthy. Let me say that again. It’s good for you to tell people what YOU need.
Giving your energy and time to others is great, but not at the expense of your own well-being. Saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean you’re not a nice or selfless person. And it doesn’t need to be justified with an explanation. It just needs to be said. So, just say ‘no!’
6. Stop Judging Yourself
You are your own best friend, so start treating yourself like it. Allow yourself the freedom to be your authentic self and embrace the not so perfect parts.
Be gentle with yourself. Encourage yourself. And when you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up. Try forgiving yourself instead. It feels way better!
7. Mirror Exercise
You can thank Marisa Peer for this self-empowering exercise. She reminds us that ‘I Am Enough’ is the most powerful statement of truth. And that the repetition of a simple phrase like this over and over (out loud and mentally) will eventually make it difficult for your mind to object to it.
So, grab some lipstick or a marker (preferably something erasable) and write this encouraging message on your mirror so you will see it and be reminded of this empowering statement often.
RELATED: Improve Your Life and Well-Being With A Gratitude Journal That Actually Works
If you’ve ever felt crushed by the weight of the world, then be sure to check out Zanna Keithley’s self-love post, 4 Undeniable Reasons Why You Are Not Broken. It will uplift you and inspire you to love yourself even when you feel unloveable. Her post is absolutely beautiful. It’s a must-read y’all. So, be sure to check it out.
Zanna encourages and empowers others to follow their passions and to embrace their worthiness. Check her out at zannakeithley.com.
RELATED: How to Be Happy: 5 Powerful Ways to Manifest More Happiness and Success
More Self-Love Resources
An Uplifting Message from Marie Forleo…
You have got to watch this amazing, 5-minute video from the incredible Ms. Forleo! In this clip, Marie talks about the connection between perfectionism and mental health issues. She urges us all to be more gentle on ourselves. It’s a must-see if you struggle with feeling like you’re not enough. Enjoy!
Hypnosis Videos
Here are a few hypnosis videos with varying time lengths depending on what you need. The first video is a short session if you only have about 20 minutes to spare. The second video is a 40-minute hypnosis session with Marisa Peer. And the last video is an 8-hour sleep hypnosis video.
It’s time to rewrite all the negative mental chatter you’ve been carrying around for so long. Grab your headphones and start reprogramming your mind with these positive messages of self-love!
Self Love Hypnosis & Self Worth Hypnosis by BlueSky Hypnosis
“I am Enough” Hypnosis Session by Marisa Peer
Be Positive & Learn to Love Yourself Sleep Hypnosis by Minds in Unison
Guided Self-Love Meditation Videos
And finally, here are some self-love guided meditations to help you heal and grow the connection with yourself. Enjoy!
Self Love Guided Meditation for Taking Care of Yourself by The Mindful Movement
Meditation For Self Love by Marisa Peer
Love and Accept Yourself Guided Meditation (528Hz) by Rising Higher Meditation
Want More? For more resources on Self Love and Self Care click here. And if you’d like to see more hypnosis videos or guided meditations, check out my board Pinterest. You’ll find tons of videos to help you cultivate more self love.
Be sure to follow me on Pinterest to get all the latest updates. I’m always adding new pins!👈📌💜
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